They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
