don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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