he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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