Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Your cock deserves a montage
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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