Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
