why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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