I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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