I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
