so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
