I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
