just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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