The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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