i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
