What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
