i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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