Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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