Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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