I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Randomize
