he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
