The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
