hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Text me some of your sweat
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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