Jerry, you need to find god
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize