You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
