ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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