did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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