I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
