Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
