one two three fourrrrnication!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
BRING THE BAGELS
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
