I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize