Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
