help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
