I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
