Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Did we literally take a cab across the street
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
