Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
