It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
