so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
