Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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