i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
