I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
