i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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