Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
