I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
