We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just pee around me
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
