i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
