We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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