We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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