you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Drake has all the answers
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
