im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
