I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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