Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize