Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
