im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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