I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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