The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
