whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
FUCK WHALES
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