Dual....:-)
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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