Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
