yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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