I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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