Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's blow job season.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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