There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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