i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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