Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
