She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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