Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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