I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
