Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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