I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
