Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
