They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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