You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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