I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
