I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
