Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
