as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
