I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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