Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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